I has always been a fan of Mario kart. I played all the
games and I beat them all with every gold trophy and played every game in the
series and recently I have buyed the newest game in the series, the eighth one.
It was from the local game stop. I didn’t have much money as my job relay
sucked. I worked in a orange factory… But for some reason there was a preowend
copy witch I could afford. But was suspicious because it was the day it was
released and noone could of owned it yet. I asked the man at the till guy for
me to buy it and he said “keep it. Have it for free. Please get it away from
me.” I got a bit sceptical but I like free games so I went out and to my
aparpment to play the game on my Wii u… I also got me self some a bowl of bran
flakes… I got out the disk out of the package and the disk had MarIO Kart 8
drawn on with red ink, And I put in the game in my Wii u and turned it on.
The game started on with the tittle screen with Mario
appeared and saying “Mario kart eeeiiiiiigggghhhhtttt!” his voice was I found
it somewhat annoying but I didn’t mind and I played. On and selected single
player and 50cc and I selected Luigi cause he my favourite character and chose
the first grand prix. What happened made me creepy. It said “NITRO HTAED CUP”
it was scary because htead was death backwarts. And when the race started …the
race track was inside mario’s intestines! and it was red and pink and it is
almost made me feel sick. It was horrible and how could Nintendo do smoothing
like this. It was sick and demented and the music was a distorted backwards
version of the giygas theme was playing. But I like Mario kart so I started
racing the other players.
When I was racing I hit an item box and I got a Parana plant…
And it eated all of the other players as I over took them! When they were eaten
you could hear the Parana plant crunch and chew them and it started to drool
hyper realistic blood and there were screams of a lot of pain and I heard
voices saying “YOU MONSTER” and “WHY! WHY!”. I won the race but only because my
plant has eaten every one. I felt guilty for a moment. “did I kill the other
players. Am I an murderer?” a text box appeared and said you have unlocked a
new character, in blood red writing that was probably written in blood. I felt
sick to the stomach and as cheeped out too but I had to keep playing, I had no choice. I needed to get behind this… this mystery? Of epic proportions…
When I got to the character select menu I unlocked a new
character. It made me spit out my bran flakes… it was… BLOOD MARIO! He was red
and covered in hyper realistic blood and his eyes were black with red pupils
and bleeding hyper realistic blood! I had to got to the bathroom to puke
because it made me so sick. What were Nintendo thinking! Making an character
this hyper realistically gory. It was like having torture scenes in Kirby. But
then out of curiosity I selected him and started the next grand prix. The next
map… was in… A GRAVE YARD THAT WAS FULL OF HORABLY MUTALTED CORPSED WITH HYPER
REALYSTIC DEATH AND BLOOD! The sky was pitch black with red stars and a
bleeding moon with bowers face on it. This was really strange. Before the
starter started the other players were looking at me… with a scared expression.
When the race started I was racing the others. I got a bomb power up and
through it. It exploded and the others that got caught in teh blast wave got
blown to bloody red bits and there organs splattered all over my character and
he goot hyper realistic blood and body bits all over him. All the bombs victims
were screaming with realistic noise and it sounded like true suffering. The
only suriver was the lakitu who only had half his body and his end trails were
Cumming out. He was hopelessly trying to crawl to the finninsh line but then he
got ran over and his blood was spraing every were hyper realysticly. Than all
of a suddenly... the other racers got to scared and drove away. Blood Mario was
laughing evilly “mwah hahahahah. Itsa me… SATERN”. I jumped out of my sofa and
fell out of my window. Luckily I landed on another man who broke my fall. I
went back into my house.
I phoned Nintendo to find out about this absolute atrocity.
Why would they release a game that’s haunted by the devil? I phoned Nintendo
and said “why have you sold me the devils copy of Mario kart”. There was an
awkward silence… and the man at the receiver said. “we will be with you shorty”
an he maniacly laughed. I got abit suspicions. When I put the phone down…
SHIGERU MYAMOTO WAS STANDING BEHIND ME WITH A KNIFE AND HE WAS WEARING A DEVIL
COSTUME! He stabed me in the back and I died painfully. The last thing I heard
him say was “no one will ever know of my love for the devil”